abstract
This phase is significant in learning about languages and leading to how I progressed from my childhood years based on my foreign language. It highlighted the obstacles that I faced while empowering my language. The essay overall connected to my experiences and I felt like I did a great job of explaining my experiences.
Written Literacy Narrative essay
“My foreign language”
Back in preschool, I thought it would be a good idea to speak two languages with my friend Kazi who was also bilingual like me. I never had anticipated the unlucky outcome that speaking a foreign language can have on a child as well as potentially leading to a rabbit hole of struggles. I only did it because she needed help with English and so I became her translator in certain events. Now and then I would speak to her in Bangla and sometimes we would talk about the horrendous food that we had gotten from lunch and make humorous jokes about the discoloration of that said food. At times, it was fun to say something in a foreign language, we believed that there were no consequences to our innocent fun until one of our classmates snitched on us for speaking a foreign language. Back then I did not realize why she snitched on me but now as an adult, it occurs to me that she did not like me and would ‘accidentally’ snitch on me for no reason whatsoever. This type of thing would usually happen to me during this time, -a piece of information that will, later, be crucial.
My teacher told me that I should not speak it anymore and I should slowly adjust to speaking English clearly with no accent so that everyone around me would understand. This got me upset from the fact that I did not do anything harmful as well as have not had my teacher scold me before which got me in a very embarrassing position on something so minor. It really did damage my consciousness to the point that I ignored her orders and her authoritative power completely like she was nothing but a spirit. The teacher on the other hand didn’t understand why I ignored her and tried to figure this out but came to the conclusion that I should be placed in a morning class so I can learn English and behave appropriately. The next few days I went to my morning class which consisted of 3 students and a teacher named Ms. Lee who would occasionally ask us to get a book from the baskets placed on the rows of tables.
At first, I found this whole routine a hassle but gradually, it grew on to me how fun it was to select your own book rather than having your own teachers pick it for you. Every time I searched for a new book; I would look at the cover for one that held my interests at heart like “The Ugly Duckling.” The text reached out to me as if it were ‘the one’ and the name was quite puzzling for a young girl like me who mostly liked things that held a certain perfection. In my own eyes I thought it was newfangled to call a duckling ‘ugly,’ there was no comprehension of something unique. The name appealed to me and so intriguing was the cover that I was mesmerized like a sailor mesmerized by a siren’s call. I held the book with both of my arms crossed and went to sit down with my classmates, waiting submissively for Ms. Lee to pick one of us to read our selected books. Ms. Lee directed one of her fingers to me which alluded to being chosen among the few. I happily obliged not because I was chosen but mostly to try out the new book that caught my sparkling and innocent eyes. I had the book laid open and read it diligently, but to my surprise, I was struggling even with the words that appeared. My teacher stopped me mid-way to help with the pronunciation and the definitions. A sudden rush of heat and blood flowed in the direction of my back, neck, and cheeks became red like a tomato. Ms. Lee took notice and reassured me that it was fine for a girl my age to struggle and not meet the needs of the criteria. I understood what she had meant but deep down I felt like a failure for being different from my other classmates because I stumbled with most of the words, unlike my other classmates that were doing well and have been there longer than me.
Before that day I did not think that I had a problem with reading comprehension, but that experience empowered me to work harder. Each day, of going to the morning class became a routine. The enjoyment of reading books and learning new phrases added excitement to the early morning and was a welcome change from my normally sluggish and sleepy mood. Furthermore, there was a variety of newfound books to discover! I, as an explorer, was sent to find “Newfoundland” and learn from my own discoveries. The books were my uncharted land, and I was the reader and the explorer. Whenever I went to find a new book, I would come up with a different imagination alongside the books that appealed to my curiosity and dreams. In addition to the books, Ms. Lee always had a new activity to keep us entertained. She too felt entertained from our learning and reactions and she announced a ‘good morning’ party which consisted of a good healthy morning breakfast but there was a catch to this said party; the party will only be held if the students finished their summary rubric before the party’s date.
As a young girl this was everything to be happy about because for once I was going to receive both books and food at the same event; like the “killing two birds with one stone reference.” I patiently waited for the date of the party. At every morning class me and my classmates took turns in reading and for this week our reading consisted of fairy tales that we got to choose from “Cinderella” to “Little Red Riding Hood.” There was magic based on reading these books as they had interesting storylines. I had gotten some motivation for reading books that I liked and looking back, I have seen a correlation between how much effort I put into reading and finding a book that interested me. From this experience, I showed determination towards my goals and being able to accept my mistakes for me to embrace my growth. It takes time and patience to grow and it takes a village for a person to flourish into a beautiful flower through support. The mystery book that appealed to me was unequivocal in the first book ‘The Ugly Duckling,’ the story itself was something that produced a clear indication of my very own experiences, the fabrication of people’s words and actions correlated to the experience. The ugly duckling had a similar experience as me on how I was mistreated but, in the end, I became a different person. Both of us went through a change whether it is in appearance or through speech it served as a change. The ostracization of being foreign whether it is from looks to communication from a group can leave a person impotent and realizing that one must go through a change both physically and mentally to accommodate their own happiness but for that to happen, it may make adjustments as well as time for it to occur.
To this day the book held a very fond memory of passion, patience, and acceptance of one’s own strengths and weaknesses. It also serves as a reminder of how subjective society can be even though I have experienced it for speaking a different language. This can also be someone’s else experience for being bilingual and this experience has helped me be more aware of my skills as well as being open to new obstacles.
cover letter:
Language holds a strong demonstration of projecting emotions to what you think about certain things. In my past experiences speaking a foreign language can be both a blessing and problematic due to being exposed to two separate worlds. One may feel anxious about speaking a certain language because of the perceptions placed upon by our family, friends, and society. A certain language provides a gateway to different opportunities or be ostracized for being foreign to a society that deems you as a foreigner based on your communication skills to your own mother language instead of seeing you as a unique individual. The text, “Mother Tongue” by Amy Tan allowed me to connect to the text itself in both a deep and social way that it struck me to a singular realization of my past experiences with my mother tongue. Within society sight, a foreign language is nothing but a heretic way of living rather than having to assimilate to the ‘American’ way of speaking English, which I find it oppressive especially when I was taught to only have to speak English mainly in the classroom when I was in Preschool.
The notion of having to speak English can be traced back to my childhood on systemically and subtly having to conform within society’s expectations on what ‘American’ is and that is to look less foreign and speak less of your foreign roots. As a child, I didn’t think much about the subtle assimilation to the American life and I had a conflicted mindset that in order to thrive in this subjective world one must learn English and only English. However, that notion didn’t really affect me too much because, in my mind, I’ll only speak my mother tongue when I see a person that speaks it, the same goes for speaking English. Furthermore, a child is later exposed to these circumstances that it doesn’t really concern them just like how it didn’t even bother me until I’ve gotten older. I can see this as a social integration but with the psychological effect onto a child that may believe, speaking English can guarantee them a place in society than to embrace their origins or roots. Some may find speaking a foreign language as a form of teasing which I had dealt with in the past again being put in a situation that makes you less than the person.
When I read ‘Mother Tongue’ it paves through certain placement on foreigners like the mother having difficulties speaking English which correlates to my earlier years of having trouble speaking English. The author Amy Tan gave meaningful insights that coordinate to certain audiences like me that can relate to and see through how foreigners were treated back in the 1980s and to the present time, her text serves as proof and a purpose to this assignment. The concept that relates back to the author would be the purpose, the purpose coordinates with the author as well as mine on the topic of how oppressive and hierarchical a language can be towards another set of language. Within this course, I was able to self-reflect on my past experience with literacy and how it goes with the role of language attitudes to empowerment and oppressing to hierarchizing languages to their users. I see this as a teachable moment on the oppression that goes hand to hand with hierarchization for language because at the end of the day there is no superior language or inferior like mentioned in Lippi Green ‘English with an Accent,’ the line “-all varieties of any given language- are equal (pg 9)” conveys the same ideals as I do with foreign language and how it helped with this assignment by realizing on how there is a hierarchy placed based on the language if it fits the criteria and how popular it is to not meeting up the majority when it came to the recognition that the language becomes a tool to shun.
I was able to learn and progress from reading assignments like “Mother Tongue” and ‘English with an Accent” through the historic events to being able to relate to the mother of the narrator of her own struggles and small forms of oppression in a hierarchical system that places you based on your communication skills as a way to exploit poorly spoken individuals.
